You've gotta be kidding me

Ugh!  Long story short. . . I'm being admitted to the hospital.  I called my surgeon's office this morning asking if we could move up my Friday appt.  My pain is pretty intense.  After asking when my last full bowel movement was (Um? maybe some last tues?) they decided I needed to go in.  

Who knows what this is going to bring.  Hopefully some relief.  I'll try and update as I can.  So it's off to Lacks I go. . . again.  

Vegetable Lust

I tried the Miralax this week.  While it made things move, it caused horrendous pain. The pain when "not going" is also getting more intense.   I have been seeing more blood in the bowl.  Now that can't be good.  When I talked to my surgeon's nurse this morning she agreed that something is wrong somewhere and is squeezing me in next Friday to see him.  I still think the "narrowing at the connection site" is causing my misery.  But I'm not a doctor, so what the hell do I know?  Just know that if I turn out to be right there is going to be a huge "in your face"  celebration dance  at the doctors office.  To help prevent a major obstruction from happening in the mean time I am back on a soft food diet.  Fun.  I never knew I would one day crave a salad so much.  Hm. . . spinach, carrots, asparagus, broccoli. . .   Oh apples. . .

I just want to be done with this.  I'm tired of only posting about my problems, but they are what are occupying my mind right now.   So fricking annoying. 

To Go or Not to Go.

Holy smokes!  This little nugget sure is keeping me busy!  In a good way.  After losing Koda, I thought I would never be able to love like this again.  

Still having "going issues".  It's quite a conundrum.  Either I can be miserable and all backed up with horrible gut pain and bloated or I can take a laxative and have horrendous cramps and can get farther than 5 ft from the loo.   I did talk to my surgeon's nurse the other day.  If we can't find a happy medium by the end of this week, she is going to talk to the surgeon and hopefully convince him to see me.   I would love to know why I am having these issues.  I can't live the rest of my life like this.    

The best and the worst all wrapped up into one.

Saturday was suppose to be the happiest day, we were going to pick up Gracie. Unfortunately, things started down hill Friday night.  I became extremely ill.  We aren't fully sure as to why, but it all started with incredible intestinal cramps.  I'm talking a 9 out 10 on a pain scale.  They lasted all night, which meant no sleep.  Then, by Saturday morning I progressed to vomiting.  So, there we sat Saturday morning trying to decide between going to the ER or picking up Gracie.  I couldn't stand the thought of not getting her.  Picking her up had been my bright spot over the past few weeks.  She won out.  We packed up the car with plenty of paper towel and puke bags and off we went.  

I'm so happy we went.   I already can't imagine life without her.  I still have some cramping, but at least now it is bearable.  We are concerned I may have developed another stricture higher up in the intestines.  So I'm back on a full liquid diet.  Hm, yummy. 

Now that the cat, I mean puppy, is out of the bag. . .

I would like to introduce you to Gracie Mae:

Gracie is a 7 wks old boxer and is still with her mama and litter mates.  She gets to come home tomorrow!  I can't wait.  We have been going to visit her almost every weekend for the past 4 weeks.  I'm in love.  

Gracie's mom, was relinquished to the a rescue organization while in active labor.  She had a healthy litter of 8 cuties.  Right now Mom and babies are living at a fosters house.  How could someone just dump a dog?  Especially one in active labor?  

Gracie and I are good for each other.  She will give me a reason to get out of bed, a reason to get out of my pajamas, she will give me something to love again.  

She'll keep me on my toes.  Hard to wallow in self pity with a cutie like her around.  

One shoe. . .

I really hope I am not jinxing myself but. . . I feel good.  I think I have found the right amount of Milk of Mag to take.  I have learned my stool needs to be the constancy of water to be able to pass through the scar tissue.  Any thicker and it dams up.  All I know is this can't be good for long term.  The doc wants to "wait and see" and if in 4-6 weeks I'm still having to dose myself with the milk of mag then he will do a dilation while I am sedated.  

While I am trying to enjoy feeling semi normal again, I'm a bit hesitant.  I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop at any second.  

Lack of Balance

Just a quick post, as I only got 2 hours of sleep last night and I'm way too tired and cranky to be creative.  Still having a pooping problem.  If I don't take the Milk of Magnesia, I get very backed up.  Since I don't have a colon or a rectum, I have no storage facility.  It quickly becomes very uncomfortable (scratch that.  It's downright painful) and doesn't take much for me to begin vomiting (the body says heck, if it won't go out one way, we'll make go back out the way it came in).  So, then I take the Milk of Mag.  I only take 1 Tb. and that is still too much for my body to handle.  The cramping pain is some of the worse pain.  I'm also unable to get off the loo for more then 10 mins at a time.   Sigh, there has to be a happy medium here.  I just haven't found it yet.  

I continually find myself wishing I still had Stoma Stan.  

Poopless

Things have been getting better.  I ate yesterday and no vomiting.  Still having pooping issues though.  I was all prepared for the massive diarrhea post take-down.  I was ready to be a slave to the bathroom.  But nope, not me.  I barely poop.  It's like my body doesn't know how.  I'm off to pick up more grape juice and some pear juice (as recommended, I'll report back if it helps) If my new plumbing doesn't figure out how to eliminate my waste here in the next day or two, we will back to where we were last Wed.  I honestly believe it is due to a stricture.   Which means this won't get better until I go in for a dilation with the doc.  Great.  

Yodeling in the Porcelain Canyon

Within minutes of pressing enter on last nights update, things got worse, fast.  I began vomiting. After an abdominal surgery, vomiting is a very bad omen.  Between upchucks, I put a call into my surgeon's on-call number.  When he called me back, he felt that it was a good sign that the Milk of Mag had opened the poop gates.  He gave me the option of riding out this storm at home or being admitted to the hospital.  He said about 50% of blockage cases work themselves out.   If we were to go to the hospital they would give me an iv and the dreaded NG tube and then it would be a wait and see.  So, we chose to play wait and see at home.  After stopping all food and drink the vomiting stopped.  

It was a long night in the Stolen Colon household.  Fast forward to this morning.  I am a bit nervous to put anything into my stomach.  Needless to say I'm back on a all liquid diet this morning. 

 I'll update if anything exciting happens.  

Update the Flood Gates Have Opened

The milk of mag worked.  

Poop Watch '08

My bowels have made very little progress.  Yesterday evening I started to have very small poops, were talking mouse turds here.  I hoped it was a sign things were moving.  But nope.  It was just a tease.  I put  a call into my surgeon,  he said to try some Milk of Magnesia and to call back in 6 hours with a detailed report.  Hopefully things are just backed up and this works.  Otherwise, I would have to come in.  It could mean there is something structurally wrong with the new plumbing.  

I feel emotionally wore out, drained.  I'm tired of all this.  I want to be human again.  I want to feel whole and not broken.  I just want to get back to my life.  

I'll update if there are any new developments in the toilet bowl.   

Movement has Ceased

I haven't had a bowel movement in 36 hours.  I really don't want to call my surgeon's nurse.  She'll make me come in, and then that will be a very  uncomfortable exam.  If only I could get things moving on  my own.  I'm not in any great pain, so I wouldn't think it's a blockage causing this.  Besides I haven't eaten anything that could cause a blockage.  I'm giving myself a couple more hours to get things moving.  Then if the dams don't open I'll call.  

:::Running off to drink more grape juice.:::  

One Day at a Time

Saturday was pretty rough for me, but Sunday was better.  I've learned a few lessons the hard way.  I have to stay on top of my pain.  If I miss a pain pill by as little as an hour, it then takes hours to catch back up and get the pain under control.  Also, I learned I have to eat very small meals often.  If I don't, I get horrible intestinal cramping and pain.  And by horrible I mean absolutely-terrible-incapacitating pain.  On Sunday I started following a low-residue diet and trying to eat every 2 hours, and it has made a huge difference.  On Saturday it hurt so bad after eating it was really hard to convince myself to eat again.  

I think it also helps that my bowels fully woke up yesterday.  Before yesterday I only would expel very small amounts of stool at a time and I hadn't passed any gas since that one time at the hospital.  It took some trials and errors, but I learned how to poop yesterday.  Yup, I had to relearn how to poop.  So, now when I go the bathroom I have much more substantial bowel movements.  I've also started passing gas, lots of it.  And whoa, do I feel better.  Between the swelling from surgery and all the gas inside me I easily could have passed for five months pregnant.  

Thanks again to those who bought me the fall dresses!  They are really coming in handy.  My abdomen is still so sore I can't wear pants.  Even if I wasn't so sore, I don't think they'd fit over my pseudo-pregnant belly. 

Home Again

I'm home!  Still in a lot of pain.  I wasn't prepared for the pain.  For some silly reason, I wasn't aware that this procedure would be so painful.  Originally I thought I wouldn't even need to go home on any pain meds. (Ha!)  I found out that during the operation the surgeon used spreaders to fully open me up.  I thought he was just going to go through the stoma site.  So that explains a lot of the pain.  

Haven't had a real bowel movement yet, but I did finally pass gas last night.  And let's just say I think I woke up the entire floor!  It would have made any 8th grade boy proud.  I think once I start moving things through the system a lot of this discomfort will go way.  As of now, I've only passed small amounts of, what we believe is mainly, mucous and blood.  The small intestines aren't use to taking on the role of large intestines and colon.  I am trying to enjoy the fact that I have only gone the bathroom a small handful of times since surgery.  I know once things wake up I may go as often as 20 times a day.  

I can't possible say enough nice things about the place I stayed.  Lacks Cancer Center is nicer then most hotels!  Seriously.  I had a wonderful head massage from their resident massage therapist for my chronic headaches.  It felt so good and relaxing!  Everyday Becky and I would walk up to the Healing Gardens on the roof.  It was so beautiful and serene.  Amazing that such a peaceful place exists on top of a roof, in a city no less.  And then last night we spent some time in the Meditation Room.  It's hard not to concentrate on healing and your well being while there.  At Lack's there are patients in all different stages of their battle with cancer and it was a gentle reminder how very fortunate I am.  I have so much to be thankful for.  

Healing Garden

Meditation Room

*Photos from Lackscancercenter.org