Commence the two week countdown

Hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day.  Mine consisted of pomegranate martinis (yeah we don't have any martini glasses.) and three layer chocolate mousse (the picture of them turned out unappetizing so I'll spare you.  Just picture three layers of chocolate mousse; white, dark and milk chocolate shaped as a heart)  So good.  I don't let j-pouch stop me from enjoying anything! (I had a little help from some lactaid and bentyl.) 

Well it is 2 weeks away from my 2nd and hopefully final Mayo visit.  I am really hoping that the doc is able to remove the last two polyps and that this is my last FAP related  procedure.  (A girl can hope can't she?!)  There is always a chance that I may never have another FAP issue.  My fingers are crossed that I have paid my dues.

The mayo visit in March is going to be a lot like the one at the end of December.  The doc plans to remove the two remaining polyps, while they are extremely large they are not near the bile ducts so they should be a bit simpler to remove.    My goal is to recover nicely from the procedure and not get my butt admitted for overnight surveillance again.  

25 Randoms

I know this is going around facebook.  But since I am currently boycotting facebook I thought I would post this here.  

25 random things about me. 

1. I save one voicemail from each of my loved ones  Incase something were to happen to them, I'll have saved a piece of them.  
2. I don't do math.  Math is like a foreign language to me.  I don't even know my basic tables.  I have to visualize a picture of each number (much like a side of a dice) and then I can do the equation. (I know the picture for 3 plus the picture 7 equals the picture for 10. Odd I know. I have no idea why my "pictures" just can't be the number itself.) 
3. I believe that if I think the worse it won't happen.  For example, if a someone was calling me really late at night and I had no idea why they were calling I would think of the worse possible reason for their call (an accident or something) that way the worse won't happen. Only once has this not worked, when Koda died.  
4. When one light has multiple switches to it, I like them to be in the proper position.  Down is off and up is on.  It bothers me when they get out of whack and one switch is up but the light is off.  
5. I love milage!  I mile everywhere I go.  I love knowing that it is 1.3 miles from my house to the grocery store or 10.2 miles to my work.  
6. Growing up I went to 11 different schools in 12 years (1st through 12th grade).  
7. My brother is my BFF.  We are very close and always have been.  Probably due to the fact we moved around so much. 
8. I went through a stint where I wanted to be a truck driver.  I'm not talking about when I was little either.  I'm talking about when I was in college.  I wanted to take a year or two and be a trucker.  Just me and my dog traveling across the country.  
9. Other things I wanted to be when I grew up: a bulldozer driver (we always lived in new construction so I saw a lot of them), architect, interior designer, graphic designer (this one I really regret not pursuing) and a mom.  
10. I  will only drive American.  I am completely dumbfounded that more people don't purchase more American made especially with the economy the way it is.  Yes it is more expensive but that extra dollar is going towards someone's pension or healthcare.
11. If I could I would take a year (or a summer really) and follow DMB ( Dave Matthews Band) across the country.   
12. I have a guitar, but I don't know how to play it, yet.  I did play the electric guitar for about 6 months while in Jr High.  I could only play pieces of "Paint It Black" and "Dust in the Wind". 
13. 
    
14. I am superstitious, hence no # 13.  I also have to make a wish whenever a digital clock reads 11:11 and I commonly knock on wood (but only 3 raps, it has to be an odd amount of knocks).
15. If I won the lotto I would open a dog rehabilitation and rescue center.  
16. At one time or another I have had 7 piercing.  One in each ear, two more in the left ear, belly button twice and my tongue.  The tongue was only for a couple months during first semester freshman year (at college).  I think it was some strange independence thing.  (Sorry Dad.)
17. I have  two tattoos.  And I may get another one day. 
18. For a year, while Scott was going back to school, we lived in a "bad neighborhood"  (and I really mean bad.  My car was stolen, women were being mugged weekly and we lived across the hall from a bonafide crack addict.  It wasn't uncommon to see him just standing in the middle of the hallway drooling.) When Scott was out of town,  I would sleep with a butcher knife under my mattress.  I don't know what I thought I would do.  I mean did I really think  5 foot female holding a knife would scare an intruder away?  Especially while her mean pitbull looking dog was attempting to lick the skin off him?  (Koda wasn't a pittie, even though everyone in that apartment complex insisted she was.)
19. If I could change one thing about myself it would be my singing voice.  
20. I use to think God messed up on me.  I would tan (a lot) and bleach my hair.  I thought I was meant to have darker skin and blonde hair and I hated my dark freckles.  Then one day I realized that my coloring with dark hair, pale skin, light eyes and dark freckles is my heritage.  Now I rock my natural beauty.  
21. I don't do forwards.  At all.  So all you who send them to me, feel free to keep sending them but know I do not send them on.  And so far my luck has pretty damn good if I do say so myself.  
22. I taught myself to drive a stick shift.  End of freshmen year, Dad dropped off my manual Wrangler and said "Here ya go."  I learned by trial and error.  Oh that poor transmission. I was then able to teach my brother when no one else could.
23. I don't know my left from my right.  I must of missed that day in preschool.  I have an hand trick to help me when I am telling someone directions.
24. I also mix up my lower case b's and d's.  I have to do the "bed" trick.  (Make and ok gesture with both of your hands, left hand makes a b while the right makes the d) 
25. I knew right away that Scott what the man I was going to marry.
26. (Remember this is really #25,  there was no 13) Until 6 months ago I had never been sick (sicker then the flu), never even used my health insurance, never been in a hospital, and I only saw a doctor every couple of years.  Oh how the times have changed.    

I hope you all don't think I am too odd now.  But if you do, oh well then.  

Welcome to the World Baby Cy

I'm an aunt (again)! Baby Cy joined us Saturday February 

1st. Weighing in at 6 Lbs 15 oz.  We visited the new angel and his family yesterday.  I loved getting to meet him and getting to spend more time with my niece Nia.  But, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a pang of jealousy in the pit of my stomach. 

So very small.  

Your big sister loves you very much Cy.  

The beautiful family.  I love you.  

Dumpster Diving

For a limited time only here is the picture of the new haircut.  I'd guess about 6 inches got cut off.  This picture gives the cut no justice, but it is the best I can do.  I tried with my camera in front of the mirror but after a frustrating 10 minutes I gave up. It is a lot harder then I thought getting a good picture of yourself in a mirror.  When I would finally get everything lined up right I would forget to smile.  

File this next bunch under "life with a j-pouch".  And warning it may be TMI for some.  

The j-pouch can be a bit unpredictable, especially at night while in a deep sleep.  Unfortunately I have to wear "protection" at night (No weirdo! Not that kind of protection, this kind. Which BTW are so much better then depends.) .  Yeah it sucks and it is so not sexy but that, my friends, is how it is.  Well, last night the lovely j-pouch decided to surprise me, and lets just say I was happy I was wearing protection when I awoke this morning.  I guess that is what I get for eating Mickey D's for dinner.  

Anyone who has a dog might know where this story is heading. . .  Well after I cleaned up I guess I didn't shut the bathroom door all the way.  Either that or Gracie has learned a way to open doors, which really wouldn't surprise me.  When that girl has her mind set to mischief nothing stops her.   It was oddly quiet in the house (another sign someone is up to no good), so off I went to find the little demon.  And there she was, trash everywhere and of course she found the messiest nastiest articles to shred into a million little pieces all over my beige bedroom carpet.  After I was able to compose myself and stop the dry heaving I cleaned up the mess.   Thank God for the SpotBot (best $140 I have ever spent!  FYI, a must have for anyone with a puppy.) After some elbow grease, a dog bath and a very long hot shower for myself everything is as good as new.  Well kinda.  

Gracie goes to camp

After a full day at the new job I came home to a very rambunkous puppy.  And that was after multiple potty breaks and a few play sessions.  Scott worked from home for part of the day.  I can't imagine how hyper she would be after a full day home alone, so today I looked in to doggie daycare.  We went for our "interview" and trail day at Doggie Day Camp this morning.  She aced her interview within minutes!  (Basically they were just checking to see if she was dog friendly and had some doggie manners)  You can check her out on the web cam if you want.  She'll be there till 4 today and till 6 tomorrow and Thursday (last time I looked she was in indoor camp 3).

Minus coming home to an overly hyper puppy, my 1st day on the job was great!   Charlie was an angel and we spent the day getting to know each other.  If there was ever any doubt about going back to work for only part time there isn't now.  I was wiped out yesterday!  And pathetically my arms are a bit sore today.  Now that is embarrassing.  I guess after not doing much for six months any strength I might have had went straight out the window.  

* I'll add a pic of the new hair as soon as I have a good one.  It is remarkably hard to take a decent photo of yourself.  

The Real Housewives of GR

Tonight my girlfriends and I are having a little get together.  Nothing fancy, just some food, fun drinks, a haircut or two and some good company.  This marks my first social gathering post surgery.  Previously, I have shied away from any social function especially those that involved food.  Before now I didn't have enough trust in my new plumbing.  Also until recently I didn't know how different foods would affect me.    

I know a lot of you have wondered if I can drink alcohol.  Yup I sure can.  I can no longer drink beer though. (Actually, to be honest I haven't even tried beer.  Beer can be rough on someone with a colon.  I don't want to find out how it would be sans colon.) But so far I know I can handle wines and mojitos!  I indulged in quite a few mojitos while in Florida last month.  Hmm, mojitos.  

The Gas We Pass

Life is going pretty good as of lately.  I start my new job on Monday.  Gracie and I begin intermediate obedience classes tonight.  I've adjusted to life with a j-pouch.  And I no longer mourn for stoma stan.  It looks as though life is finally starting to smooth out for me.  

I even hit another milestone last night. . . while sitting on the couch I farted.  Yup, you read that right!  Tooting while in a sitting position was a major milestone!  Up until last night, I was only able to expel gas if my pelvis was lifted higher then the rest of my abdomen.  The only explanation I can give you is that gas rises. 

There had been many nights where the pressure had built up so much inside me I thought I was going to burst a seam.  One desperate night I realized that the most efficient way to expel gas was to do a headstand.  Can't elevate your bum anymore then that!  Soon it became common sight to see me doing a headstand in the middle of the living room while watching some prime time TV. Oh my poor husband.   So, I am sure you all can imagine my (and Scott's) glee when I cut the cheese in a normal position.  

With more and more normalcy returning to my life, I have started contemplating the fate of Stolen Colon.  After some debate, I decided to add a poll.  (See it is over there on the right hand side.) I would love to have my readers input on what lies ahead for Stolen Colon. 

Squirrellllll?!

Meet Dale.  Quite the ballsy little squirrel.  Came right up to our deck.  It didn't even phase him when Scott would open the door threaten to go out there. Dale just thumped his tail.  As in, "Come on big guy!  You've got nothing on me!"  I'm actually not to fond of squirrels, most likely due to the two not so pleasant run ins I've had with them.   Once, during the college years, a squirrel chased me.  He then tried to prevent me from entering my crappy rented house by coming after me each time I got close to the door.  No lie.  In a desperate attempt I threw my book bag at him and then I madly climbed onto the hood of my roommates car.  For some idiotic reason, I assumed he couldn't get me if I was on top of the car.  (Gina, Danielle care to back me up on this? I know at least one of had to of witnessed this spectacle.)  And then there was the time, when Koda was chasing one, and the little bugger (the squirrel, not Koda) turned around and jumped on her face.  After quite a bit of screaming (from me, Koda and the squirrel) and a ton of flailing around (again from all three of us) the incident ended with remarkably no harm to any of the three beings involved. 

Sorry, I  just had to share Dale with you all.  

5 on Friday

Little known fact, I collect quotes.  Here are five random ones:

"Peace.  It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.  It means to be in the midst of those things and still be clam in your heart."   -unknown

"Happiness is a journey, not a destination. . ."  -Souza

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, your right."  -Henry Ford

"The secret of health and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly."  -Buddha

"Happiness is like a butterfly.  The more you chase it the more it will elude you, but if you turn you attention to other things it will come and sit softly on you shoulder."  -Thoreau

Good New, take three.

Are you ready for the third installment of "Good News"?  Wait for it. . . wait for it. . .  I got a job!  Yup!  And not just any job, I'm going to be a nanny for the sweetest baby boy, Charlie.  I'll be working part time, just 3 days a week.  I couldn't imagine a more perfect job.  

Those of you who know me, know how much I love being a nanny.  I love to love and I absolutely adore children.  I am overjoyed that I found a nanny job that works out so well for me.   When I got diagnosed with FAP, I had to leave my previous nanny job.  I was unable to keep up with the time (sometimes over 50 hours a week) and energy they needed from me (3 kids under 4,  can you imagine?!).  I am so excited to be returning to the profession I love, but with much better terms.  

I was a bit nervous about finding a job.  Between the FAP and the j-pouch I have a few "issues" that I thought may make it difficult to find a job.  Of course, I have that impending second trip to Mayo.  And I can't forget about my bathroom habits.  I couldn't imagine a job where I was only allowed to go to the bathroom on a lunch break or something.  I was also concerned with my energy levels, I don't think I could handle a job that required me to be on my feet for 9 hours straight.   But being a nanny for an infant?  Perfect!  And a damn cute one too.  

I feel very blessed that Charlie's family wants me to be his nanny.  They know all about me, and are very understanding.  My first day of work is Feb 2nd, and I can't wait.  I have never been this excited to start a new job!

I am pleased to introduce you to my new boss, Charlie:

And another positive?  Gracie is very relieved that she is no longer my only model.  

Good News Part Deux

I heard from Mayo.  First off, the polyp that they removed from my ampulla showed only low grade dsyplasia (no cancer!).  Yahoo!  And it looks like I have a date for my next appointment.  March 4th. So soon!  It is quite a bit sooner than I expected.  The doctor wants to check the area where he removed the polyp to make sure all the edges are clean.  He will also attempt to remove the other two polyps that he couldn't get to last time.  

Today's pictures are in honor of yet another day here inMichigan where we won't see the sun.  

 And no this is not the end of my "good news" streak!  I still have more to come. . .

End of an Error

Don't worry!  I didn't turn into a popsicle in the arctic weather we had last week!  Nor did I get buried in the 20 inches of new snow we got over the weekend.  (We have gotten 89 inches so far this season, the average for the whole season is 72 inches!)  I guess I just didn't have a lot to say.   But don't fret because I have lots to talk about now!

The first half of last week, I was feeling good.  I mean real good!  I decided not to blog about it as I didn't want to jinx it.  Turns out, I must of jinxed it anyways.  But still where I am today it leaps and bounds better then where I was just a month ago.  I have to say, living with this j-pouch is very doable.  I no longer find myself wishing stoma stan was back.  I probably average around 12-15 bathroom trips a day.  And on average, I only experience those dreadful cramps in the evenings.  Usually around 6 pm they start, but they aren't anything 2 doses of Bentyl can't take care of.   How about that for progress, huh?!  

I attribute a lot of my progress to eating a fruit or veggie with every meal.  I had been cautioned about eating fruits and veggies.  From what I've been told most people with a j-pouch don't tolerate them very well.  I'm glad I threw that advice out the window.  Also I have become much more fluent in my j-pouch's language.  I understand a bit better the signals he is sending me. And he is learning his new job as a makeshift mini colon.  (I have no idea why I think of my j-pouch as a "he".  I just do.  Maybe since he deals with, well, poop.  That sure isn't a feminine thing now is it?)

And I have more good news, but you'll just have to wait. . .  I can't just blurt it all out on a Monday now can I?  

Alright, I must go.  Time to grab my coffee and be glued to my TV and watch history be made.  (yes did I tell you I can also handle coffee!  Well small amounts of it and then I still have to up my H2O intake, but still. . .Coffee.  Yum)  

5 on Friday

It has been awhile. Lets start this up again. 

My new year's resolution this year is: To be as healthy as I can.  With FAP, I basically have a higher chance of a bunch of lovely different cancers and I would really like to slow down or completely prevent the growths of any more precancerous polyps.  So, I thought I would be preemptive.  Since losing the old colon attempting to be "healthy" has been easier said then done.  I have completely stopped all forms of exercises, and I would much rather curl up on the couch with a down blanket than do anything.  It is much easier to eat highly processed prepackaged foods then healthy foods.  So here we go, my plans for the future.

1. Eat a veggie or fruit with every meal.  Basically trying eat different foods with colors from the full spectrum of the rainbow.
2. Walk everyday.  Gracie would enjoy this too.  But here, in Mi in the winter, getting outside is not always an easy or enjoyable task.  That's ok, Dad sent us home from FL with his old treadmill.  Now if we could only find away to get it inside.  (yes we made the 22 hour dive home in a Liberty, with 2 adults, 1 dog, way too much luggage and a very large treadmill.  It was tight to say the least.)
3. Yoga at least three times a week.  Right now while funds are not just low but completely nonexistent, I'll do yoga at home in front of the tv.  I know Gracie will get a kick out of this and pounce on me every chance she gets.  Maybe I can get her to do some downward facing dog with me?  Once we reestablish the savings account, I would like to join a studio.  We'll see. . .
4. Drink a bare minimum of 64 oz of water.  And that is the absolute minimum!  The majority of water I consume just goes right on through.  The colon's main job is to absorb fluids (and those digestive juices, hence the pain of "butt burn"). 
5. Try to eat as little of possible of processed foods.  The more hands that have touched it, the worse it is.  No more packaged crackers, cookies, chips and all that jazz.  

Think I can do it?

*Doesn't Gracie look nice in warm in today's picture?  I picked it, since once again it is snowing here!  I want to crawl into the picture with her and join her in soaking up the sunshine.   Dear Mother Nature, The snow can stop anytime.  Thank you.    

Travelin' J-pouch

Traveling a total of  50 hours in a car with a j-pouch and a puppy is a feat in of itself. Between the fact that they both got their own bags.  Gracie's had toys, 2 days of food, treats, 2 bowls, poop bags, a leash, jerky style chicken breasts and some sam's yams (vegetable rawhides).  While the butt bag contained all my restroom necessities.  Two different hiney creams,  Calmoseptine and Magic Butt Cream (MBC is a throw back from my nanny days.  Equal parts desitin, maalox, lotramin.  I swear by it), baby wipes, rubber gloves (it makes the application of said hiney creams easier to apply and more comfortable), antibacterial hand gel, antibacterial wipes (for those oh-too-nasty toilet seats, there is no hovering with a j-pouch) and a supply of charmin (come on, that cheap toilet paper is rough even on normal cheeks).

Between Gracie and I, we needed to stop at least every 3 hours, but we would push it towards every 4.  And just FYI, whenever possible stop at the roadside rest stops.  They tend to have cleaner bathrooms, which makes relaxing on the pot a bit easier, which in turn helps things to fully empty.  And they have better places to encourage your dog to go.  Nothing like standing on top of a plowed snow mound, in a parking lot, while it is -30˚ and trying to convince your whining, shivering puppy that yes indeed this is a perfectly good place to drop douce.  Rest stops at least gave us a place to walk a bit, stretch her legs and burn off some of that puppy energy.  

With all that said, I think Gracie and I both did very well on our adventure.  I just can't imagine doing it again when she is bigger.  As it was, we took up the ENTIRE vehicle (given is was a Jeep Liberty, but still!)  Or maybe I just need to learn to pack lighter.