San Souci*

Three years ago today, Scott and I ceased to live in sin.  We were married seaside in beautiful Jamaica.    30 family members chose to join us there and celebrate with us.

Really, he wasn't so nervous he was sweating.  It was hot, like really hot.  I swear.  

I love you, Scott.  Here is to many more.  

Hey , my love, you came to me like

wine comes to the mouth

Grown tired of water all the time 

You quench my heart and love

you quench my mind

Celebrate we will

Because life is short but

sweet for certain

We're climbing two by two 

To be sure these days continue

The things we cannot . . 

~DMB "Two step"

(*The name of the resort we stayed at was San Souci, French for "No Worries".)

H 2 uh-oh

“If it’s yellow let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.” That was our anthem for the weekend; see we had no running water. A pipe had burst over the winter, and instead of flooding the entire lower level, just so we could have water, we shut off the water to the house.

Ok no biggie we thought. We can get drinking water from the store. And the cottage is on a lake! We’ll just haul up lake water to use to flush the toilets. This all would have worked out just fine, if I were a normal person, a person with a colon. But nope, not me I have a j-pouch! It definitely did not help matters that on Saturday I had a hugmongo 4 course dinner! (Hmm. I had warm ciabatta bread with balsamic dipping oil, a fresh salad with goat cheese, walnuts and dried cranberries. For the main course, there was grilled salmon with a baked potato. Oh and dessert! Cherry pie, a la mode of course. Hey leave me alone it was our anniversary dinner! If you are ever in the Higgins/Roscommon area, I highly recommend Gates Ausable Lodge. Hands down the best food around! Just note it is BYOB)

To work the toilets we would haul up 2 buckets of lake water at a time. Two buckets would allow us 2.5 flushes. So out in the rain we would go. Of course, the j-pouch was more active then normal (I am sure that my freakishly large meal had nothing to do with that. Ha!) It is fair to say we were venturing out to fill up the buckets a bit more then we originally expected.

I only slipped and fell once. (Yeah that is good for me.) The worse part of it all was having to roll up our pants and wade out into the lake to where it was deep enough to fill the bucket. Damn that water was cold.

But you know? Even with no running water, an overactive j-pouch, and crappy weather it was all worth it. And I’d do it again. My only regret was not noticing the carpet downstairs getting soggier and soggier sooner. (Sorry Dad. Seriously we feel really bad about that.)

Weathered

Dear Meteorologist,
You predicted mid 70's with a 30% chance of rain showers in the evening. Could you possibly have been anymore wrong? (Well yeah, I guess if it would have snowed, which at times I thought it might, then you definitely would have been more wrong.) It was in the 30's and it never stopped raining, for two days. Not just a little rain either; we’re talking sheets of rain. I know that weather prediction isn't a 100% accurate or anything. But seriously, you didn’t even come close. Maybe you can work on your accuracy for the summer season.
Thanks,
Stolen Colon  

Even with the craptastic weather, our weekend was good. It was definitely eventful, but good nonetheless.  More on that later.  

Solitude

And we are off . . . up north we go.  Life has been a little tense, to say the least, at the Stolen Colon household.  As some of you know, my husband works for one of the big three. (Ha! Isn't that moniker ironic?!)  There is an endlessly vibrating crack berry, cnn's never ending news ticker, and the incessant emails. The stress behind it all has caused less then stellar moods, for both of us.  We are a team,  what effects one of us also effects the other.  (Which is good point to anyone suffering through an illness, it is not just you, who suffers.  Our loved ones often suffer, silently, right along with us.  There is a stress on our caretakers that we commonly don't recognize.)

So, what do we do here when the stress becomes unbearable, pack our bags and head north, to our solace.  No crackberries, no news, no emails . . . just peace (well at least for 2 days).  

This will be Gracie's intro to "The Cottage".  I know she'll love it, it was/is Koda's favorite place on earth. Gracie and I plan to blow by my previously set record of a 1 mile hike.  There is just something about being in the woods.  The crunch of pine needles beneath my feet, the fresh scent, just the solitude of it all, it is the best way to recharge my batteries and to get in touch with myself. 

Also next week is our wedding anniversary.  This weekend, I will reconnect with the person I fell in love with.  It's easy in the hustle and bustle of life to take someone for granted.  We need to remember to occasionally look at each other as if it is the first time we saw each other.  

When I step into the light my arms open wide

When I step into the light my eyes searching wild

Would you not like to be

Sitting on top of the world with your legs hanging free

Would you not like to be ok, ok, ok

When were walking by the water

Splish splash me and you taking a bath

When were walking by the water

Come to my toes to my ankles to my head to my soul

Then I'm blown away

~Lie in Our Graves by DMB

Signs of Spring

Gracie and I have been trying to get out hiking whenever the weather allows it.  Unfortunately, here in Michigan that is not as often as I would like.   There is something about being out in the woods, where it smells earthy fresh and I'm surrounded by solitude.  It is one of the few places where I can feel fully at peace with everything.  No matter what my mood may be like at the start of the hike, by the end I exit the woods feeling calm and tranquil.  

We hit a new record today, we covered approximately one mile.  May not sound like much to you but let me tell you this isn't just flat surface we are hiking on.  I am pretty proud of myself.  Only one month ago I was only able to cover maybe half a mile and even then I had to take multiple breaks.  

On today's hike, I noticed there are a few subtle cues that Spring may be coming.   

Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. 

I guess it was bound to happen

At least it was just me and Scott.  I should have known better.  Last night, in celebratory form I made baked bananas with an orange caramel sauce all over vanilla ice cream.  I ended up paying for that through out most of the night.  But hey my Spartans won, I deemed it worth it.  Then this morning I had a delicious italian frittata.  So good.  And to top it all off we were having a leisurely Sunday drive while drinking a grande coffee.   I guess that was 3 strikes against me.  

My poor husband, the things I subject him too.  Thank God, it was him with me.  Could of been worse.  It could of happened while out in a crowd or in yoga.  Oh the things I'm thankful for.  

Go Green!

On the banks of the Red Cedar,

There's a school that's known to all;

Its specialty is winning,

And those Spartans play good ball;

Spartan teams are never beaten,

All through the game they'll fight;

Fight for the only colors:

Green and White.

Go right through for MSU,

Watch the points keep growing,

Spartan teams are bound to win,

They're fighting with a vim!

Rah! Rah! Rah!

See their team is weakening,

We're going to win this game,

Fight! Fight! Rah! Team, Fight!

Victory for MSU!

I miss her.

Dearest Koda,

One year ago (tomorrow) you left this physical world. You were too young, just about to turn 5. Our time together was too short. It wasn't suppose to end this way.

It eats me up inside when I think about your death. So alone, so painful. It kills me that I wasn't with you, holding you in my arms. I'm so sorry baby. I should of listened to my instincts and never left you that weekend.

I will never forget the day you choose us to be your forever family. Even though we had no intention of bringing a dog into our home, we stumbled upon you. When I first laid eyes on you I yelled "oh shit!" because deep down inside I knew you were meant for us. I was being too responsible, "our apartment is too small" "I work too many hours", but you quickly changed my mind when you jumped onto the picnic table, placed both paws on my shoulders, looked directly into my eyes and then proceeded to lick my entire face. I then admitted what my soul already knew, we were meant to be together.

Not a day goes by that my heart doesn't ache for you, but I try to cherish all my memories. The good, like when we would be home alone and you would jump up in the bed to sleep with me, but when I would finally drift off you would sneak off to your bed.  Or your uncanny ability to read my emotions, and give me exactly what I needed at that moment like a face full of kisses or some good deep belly laughs.   And the bad, like the time you climbed up on to the kitchen counter and found the food coloring and then decided to dye your white body a rainbow of colors. Or like the time you shredded 48 rolls of toilet paper. When we walked in it looked like it was snowing and there you were in the middle of it all, looking so proud and wiggling your nubbie.

Thank you. My life wouldn't be what it is now if you weren't once a part of it. And thank you for leading us to Gracie Mae. While she will never fill the hole in my heart she has taught me to love again.

Thank you for coming in to my life. You brought so much light and love, I can't imagine those years with out you in them. You have forever left your paw print on my heart.

I love you Koda Marie. Until we meet again.

Colon Cancer Awarness

I'm a bit ashamed it took me till the last week of March to write this, but better late then never.  March is Colon Cancer Awareness Month.  The blue star is the symbol of hope for a cure for colon cancer.

• When you combine men and women, colorectal cancer is the second most commonly diagnosed cancer and the second leading cause of cancer death.
• With regular screenings, colon cancer can be found early.  Screenings can even prevent it by removing polyps. 
• Unfortunately majority of colon cancers are not found early.  
• A colonoscopy is not that bad.  Seriously. Get over it if fear is your excuse. 

If you see blood in your stool or have had a change in popping habits, talk to you doc.  Don't be embarrassed, they have seen and heard much worse.  Do not let them blow you off, tell you your too young or don't have any risk factors.  Or my personal favorite tell you that it is just spaghetti sauce (I really hope I get to run into that doctor some day).  

Vernal Equinox

At 7:44 this morning spring arrived!  Thank God.  I really hope Mother Nature got the memo.  Officially our days our now longer then our nights!  This just means I'm one step closer to cottage season.  

I attended yoga again today.  Ah.  So relaxing and strenuous all at the same time.  I was a bit nervous though.  We did a few shoulder stands (for my non-yoga readers it's like a head stand, but on the back of your shoulders. Or just click here.)  As you may remember, I use to have to be upside down to help release gas.  The whole time I was in the shoulder stand I had an internal convo with my insides.  "Ok j-pouch, please oh please don't think this is the right opportunity to release any gas.  If you do this for me I promise not to subject you beer too often."  I really shouldn't have had brussel sprouts with dinner last night. 

The Hops Experiment

Hope everyone had a nice St. Patty's day.  I decided today to celebrate the O' Tool and McPeak parts of me.  What better day to test out a beer on the new plumbing then St Patty's Day?  We started off hunting for a good place to have a Guinness and some Irish food.  But we quickly realized, however, that we have out grown the St Patty's day bar crawl crowd.  Ah, growing up.  Since the weather was beautiful (70˚!)  we ended up on our back deck with some Magic Hat #9.  

The beer went down smoothly.  But since going down, it has started a bit of a riot in the gut.  Nothing painful, just A LOT of noise and some uncomfortableness.  I am foreseeing a lot of gas (which a true pain in the ass with a j-pouch) and possible multiple nightly trips to the bathroom.  Worth it?  I suppose, but something I want to do all that often. I think I am going to stick to vodka (Tito's, BEST vodka. Ever.) or wine when I feel the craving for a drink.  

 

The thing I liked most about my beer today, the message under the cap.

May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.  

-Irish Blessing

Zen like

Went to yoga today.  It was the first time since, well you know when.  And it felt incredible!  Before going I was quite nervous.  Much like a self-conscious teenager before a first date.  I had a horrible case of the "what ifs".  What if I couldn't do the poses?  What if everyone was more advanced then me?  What if my insides roar (like they commonly do and man is it loud!  I have even been known to spook the pets)?  What if all the bending and stretching causes my insides to go into overdrive and I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes?  Well lets just say that none of that happened (well except the part about everyone being more advanced then me, but so what.  It ended up not being a big deal.  If anyone even noticed I doubt they cared.)  It is like the saying "90% of what you worry about never even happens".

In the beginning I told the instructor that I had abdominal surgery 6 months ago.  She was wonderfully responsive.  She took the time to help me with poses that I struggled with, give me encouragement when I needed  it and show me variations that would be a bit easier with my decreased range of movement.  

So for one and a half hours in an overly warm room I bended stretched and moved in ways I haven't in a long time. (The overly warm room was a wonderful break too, since March has decided it would rather be a winter month.) While my muscles took turns yelling in protest at my newfound movements, I was able to get back in touch with me.  I realized while stolen colon  is (part of) me; I am not just stolen colon.  It is easy when you have been through something that impacts your life to loose yourself and forget that you are not defined by that event.  

As I walked out of the studio, damp with sweat and with every muscle in my body shaking,  I left inspired and remarkably at peace.  

All good

Had a check up with the Colorectal this morning.  It was good news all around.  He said I am still an anomaly.  Since I have constipation issues, most j-pouchers can't stop going.  But he said if I'm ok with it that it is all good.  And the best part. . . I don't have to go back for six whole months!  At that time he'll do a flex sig (like a colonoscopy, without the colon).  He'll check on the condition of the pouch and check for polyp growth.  

The only thing I wasn't to happy with was my weight.  Holy smokes! Lets just say I gained back all my post surgery weight loss, plus more!  At least that is a very fixable problem.  I'll be calling yoga studios this afternoon.  And I want to start using the treadmill more regularly.  Once I get in a bit better cardiovascular shape (and can go up a flight of stairs without my heart beating in my ears) I plan to do the couch to 5K plan.  I did it last year and loved it.  

With spring right around the corner, I will be getting outside more with Gracie.  We had a couple nice days last week, and Gracie and I went on a couple little hikes (with lots of breaks).  It was her first time in the woods, and she a bit spooked by it.  She had to check out every twig snap and leaf rustle.  Also she didn't know what to think about me not making her walk right next to me. 

I gotta tell you all, I am pretty happy.  Things seem to be going well with my health.  Better weather is on the horizon.  I have a job that I love (literally). 

Life is good.  

Saynora Polyps

Home sweet home.  It feels good to be back, with no polyps no less. On the trek over there we stopped for brunch in Chi-town to see my little brother.   It is always nice when I get to spend a little time with him. (Hence where today's pictures are from).  

So what's on my plate for medical b.s. you ask?  Well, depending on what pathology finds in the recently evicted polyps, will determine a lot.  But the thought is that they will only show dysplasia and no cancer.  If that is the case, then I don't have to go back out to mayo for six months!  Six whole months!  At that point the doc will then be able to determine how aggressive the polyps are.  If they are extremely aggressive, (and I have sprouted a few more) I would have to be packing bags and heading to Mayo at least every 6 months.  But, and this is a huge but here, if they turn out to not be aggressive polyps (and I am still clean and clear), then I could feasibly go a few YEARS (years, people YEARS!) in between screenings.   

Also this Tuesday I meet with my colorectal surgeon.  It is just a 6 month post-op

check up.  We plan to discuss what he thinks my screening schedule should be for the lower end.  Surprisingly, the bottom half screenings are much easier to handle then the upper half.  For my upper I am completely knocked out with a machine breathing for me, while the lower end I just undergo light sedation.  Needless to say I will be completely ok with it if he thinks I need to under go scopes to the j-pouch and bottom part of the small intestines more frequently.  

Well, it is absolutely gorgeous day here.  Gracie and I are on our way out to enjoy a nice spring time hike!