Zen like

Went to yoga today.  It was the first time since, well you know when.  And it felt incredible!  Before going I was quite nervous.  Much like a self-conscious teenager before a first date.  I had a horrible case of the "what ifs".  What if I couldn't do the poses?  What if everyone was more advanced then me?  What if my insides roar (like they commonly do and man is it loud!  I have even been known to spook the pets)?  What if all the bending and stretching causes my insides to go into overdrive and I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes?  Well lets just say that none of that happened (well except the part about everyone being more advanced then me, but so what.  It ended up not being a big deal.  If anyone even noticed I doubt they cared.)  It is like the saying "90% of what you worry about never even happens".

In the beginning I told the instructor that I had abdominal surgery 6 months ago.  She was wonderfully responsive.  She took the time to help me with poses that I struggled with, give me encouragement when I needed  it and show me variations that would be a bit easier with my decreased range of movement.  

So for one and a half hours in an overly warm room I bended stretched and moved in ways I haven't in a long time. (The overly warm room was a wonderful break too, since March has decided it would rather be a winter month.) While my muscles took turns yelling in protest at my newfound movements, I was able to get back in touch with me.  I realized while stolen colon  is (part of) me; I am not just stolen colon.  It is easy when you have been through something that impacts your life to loose yourself and forget that you are not defined by that event.  

As I walked out of the studio, damp with sweat and with every muscle in my body shaking,  I left inspired and remarkably at peace.