Friday, March 13, 2009

Zen like

Went to yoga today.  It was the first time since, well you know when.  And it felt incredible!  Before going I was quite nervous.  Much like a self-conscious teenager before a first date.  I had a horrible case of the "what ifs".  What if I couldn't do the poses?  What if everyone was more advanced then me?  What if my insides roar (like they commonly do and man is it loud!  I have even been known to spook the pets)?  What if all the bending and stretching causes my insides to go into overdrive and I have to run to the bathroom every five minutes?  Well lets just say that none of that happened (well except the part about everyone being more advanced then me, but so what.  It ended up not being a big deal.  If anyone even noticed I doubt they cared.)  It is like the saying "90% of what you worry about never even happens".

In the beginning I told the instructor that I had abdominal surgery 6 months ago.  She was wonderfully responsive.  She took the time to help me with poses that I struggled with, give me encouragement when I needed  it and show me variations that would be a bit easier with my decreased range of movement.  

So for one and a half hours in an overly warm room I bended stretched and moved in ways I haven't in a long time. (The overly warm room was a wonderful break too, since March has decided it would rather be a winter month.) While my muscles took turns yelling in protest at my newfound movements, I was able to get back in touch with me.  I realized while stolen colon  is (part of) me; I am not just stolen colon.  It is easy when you have been through something that impacts your life to loose yourself and forget that you are not defined by that event.  

As I walked out of the studio, damp with sweat and with every muscle in my body shaking,  I left inspired and remarkably at peace.  


Aunt Jay said...

Great news Steph! Life can be good and it is such a good feeling when we can recognize and acknowledge it. Here's to going to work, enjoying the outdoors, eating healthy, loving our family and friends and being able to realize the pleasures of each day.

Keri said...

I'm so glad that it went well! Your post makes me want to check out a yoga studio.

Craig said...

I am so very happy that you have come through these trials with such a positive spirit. Keep it up, you must be an inspiration to others facing similar issues as yours.

Uncle Craig

Anonymous said...

Did you do Bikram? I love that type of yoga. It is intense if your not use to it but worth it. Glad your getting your life back!

aunt colleen said...

Wow. Steph, reconnecting with yourself is so healing. I especially love it that you surround yourself with Grace (Gracie)You even sound more at peace. I really relate to what you shared about what your experience not defining you. Be who you are meant to be --all of it...sometimes our experiences stretch us though - no pun intended.
Love to you and Scott and your grace,