Today I am sad. Sad and angry. You know what is making this the hardest? Having to go through all of this without Koda. When ever I was down, she was there to cheer me up. She had a talent for reading others moods and reacting accordingly. If I was crying, she would come over and snuggle up to me. Or, if she felt I needed a pick-me-up she would act silly or start going "woooo woooo" just to make me laugh. She was great at helping to take your mind off of things. If she felt you needed to take a break, she would bring her rope bone over and lay it on your lap. Then, she would keep nudging you with her nose till you gave up and played with her.
I find myself asking "why?" a lot. Why did God have to take Koda? Why did she have to die then? Why do I have to deal with all of this without her? If only she was here now, this would be easier to deal with. I was still grieving for her when all this
medical bullshit started. I never knew I could miss a dog so much. But I guess that is because she always was more than a pet to me. She was my baby girl. She was my best friend.
Sorry for venting. It is odd, I feel kind of guilty about it. It is like
I'm letting everyone down. That I am not being the strong person you think I am. But, I said I'd be honest. So there it is.