Other wise, things are okay. The surgery is two weeks from tomorrow. While I am not nervous yet I am scared. I am scared of the unknown. There is so much I don't know. How much pain will I be in? Will I be able to move much? What will my needs be? How will I be feeling? How long till I am able to function again? When will I be able to cook again? And so on. . .
I have never been one to admit when I need help. But I am foreseeing that I am going to need help while I'll recover. Admitting that is difficult for me. Probably since I have been taking care of myself for so long it is uncomfortable for me to even admit that I will need help.
I am the type of person who likes structure and order in my life. I like to be able to visualize what is going to happen. Unfortunately, I can't do that now. I can picture the next two weeks. . . then it is just blank. It is really bugging me that I do not know exactly what the future will be like. I guess that is something that I have to get use to.
3 comments:
I can't imagine how you must be feeling! Is there anyone that you can talk to that has been through this to give you a better idea of what to expect? What about a message board??
Steph,
I can't really offer any advice other than give you this quote that is on the wall by my desk. It helped me when going through my bouts of surgery and treatments:
"Yesterday is already a dream and tomorrow is only a vision but TODAY WELL LIVED makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of HOPE!"
Hang in there and know you are in good hands and well loved.
Uncle Craig
Hi There Stephanie,
Looks like you are scheduled for surgery a few days before I have the same procedure. Mine is the result of severe ulcerative colitis however. I am now reading up about your FAP. I am not sure what to tell you except I have the same nesting urge to have everything organized and all fixed up. Thats why we are getting the house painted and rewired as well. Crazy I know!
Best of luck to you in your surgery. I happen to enjoy Carl Hiassen mysteries as they are totlally hilarious and unrelated to my life.
Carmen
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