Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Oh what a morning

Oh what a morning I had yesterday!  It started off good.  I was feeling strong so I decided I was going to attempt something new.  Even though Scott wasn't home I decided I was going to shower.  While Becky was here last week, she installed a hand held shower head so I could sit on a stool and shower.  All previous shower attempts had been done while someone sat in my bedroom, just in case.  But nothing ever happened so I thought nothing of it.  I also had this brilliant idea to shower sans 'bag'.  I thought it would feel good to have the bag off for a bit and to be able to clean around it.  So far my stoma has not been active in the mornings.  So. . . everything starts off good, but about the time I have my hair all sudsy I start feeling woozy.  I quickly attempt to rinse my hair and then crawl on to the bathroom floor.  At this point my stoma decides to be active, and is squirting everywhere.  I am not strong enough to stand up, so I grab a towel to hold over him (yes my stoma is a him.  I figure it has to be male, who else would think it is perfectly okay to fart anytime it wants to, like at the dinner table).  Once it has settled down and I have a bit of strength I try to put a new bag on.  Right as I am attempting this he goes all crazy again and soaks the new appliance.  So, with that appliance in the trash I try again, but now I am too weak to keep standing so I lay on the ground and put the new bag on.  Phew,  once it is on I crawl (yes on my hands and knees) to my bed.  I figure I'll just rest for a bit.  After about 5 minutes, my bag fails and is squirting out from underneath it in every direction (think of a hose that you place your thumb the opening and then turn on the water).  I lay there until I think it is done and then crawl back to the shower to rinse off, mind you I feel really gross at this point.  Now the shower head breaks, yup just when you thought it couldn't get any worse.  The connection to the pipe leaks and water starts spraying everywhere, soaking all the walls and ceiling.  All I can think about at this point is Scott is going to be pissed, we have this on going argument about the bathroom walls.  Supposedly I always get them wet when I shower.  Anyways back to this story,  I finally get a new bag on, and I just lay on the floor for an hour.  By this point I have soiled almost every towel in the house, plus my bedding.  It took me a good hour till I was strong enough to attempt getting dressed and going downstairs (I did the stairs on my bum, like how you did as a kid).  And I left the mess for when Scott came home so he could help me clean up.  
Sigh, at least I have learned some valuable lessons.  
  1. No showering when no one is home.
  2. No attempting to shower without the bag on
  3. Scott is perfectly capable of doing laundry. 

14 comments:

Christina said...

Oh my goodness! And I thought it was bad when Baby J poops all over the changing table. Definitely puts my frustration in it's place. I would be bawling in frustration and self pity if all of this happened to me. I admire your strength and ability to express it through your posts. I hope today goes much better with your the new things you learned :-)

Teri said...

Oh Steph, what a morning indeed! You made it thro it and there can't be much worse.I love that you call your stoma a guy and I love that you write down your experiences. Heres to better days! Hang in there.

Maribeth said...

OH MY!! What a morning. Hope you don't have any more of those.

Keri said...

Oh my goodness gracious! You poor thing. The good news is that those problems should never occur again, now that you've been through that experience once.

That's great news that you're feeling well enough to shower by yourself though!

Anonymous said...

Holy crap what a day! (no pun intended). I know it isn't funny but you made me laugh today reading your post - especially the the comment about the guys farting anytime they want to. Living with 3 boys I can relate. And yes, men are perfectly capable of doing laundry.

Hang in there Steph,
Love Aunt Paula

apt said...

Lessons learned, sorry it had to be the hard way.
Indpendent showing is around the corner, just don't rush it.

Anonymous said...

WOW! Poor you! That's about the most horrible morning anyone could ever have!!! What happened when Scott got home? I had been wondering if I could shower sans bag. Thank you for posting this!!! Your experience was horrible but your writing about it made me chuckle.

sjboss said...

Some advice from one who had an ileostomy 18 years ago and have been leading a relatively normal life ever since. It is a very good idea to shower without the appliance. You can then do a good job of washing the skin around the stoma and prevent it from becoming irritated. In order to avoid the problem you encountered, make sure you have not eaten anything for several hours before the shower. I find the best time is first time in the morning, BEFOR breakfast.

Beth said...

(((HUG)))
Here's hoping tomorrow is a better day!

Anonymous said...

Steph,

Wow. I'm sending you a hug, just like Beth - I liked her (((HUG))) symbol - I had never seen that. Hoping for a calmer day tomorrow!

Love,
Cousin Mandy

Aunt Deb and Family said...

"OH WHAT A MORNING" INDEED!!!!grd12345

Aunt Deb and Family said...

oops. I don't know how that end stuff showed up. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Remember what you told me?

"SLOW DOWN BABY"

Pup

Erin said...

Oh dear!!! What an adventure you had! So sorry to hear about the mess! I can only imagine how much of a pain, both figuratively and literally, that had to have been.

Please. Let people help you until you are BETTER. God forbid, you fall in the shower and hit your head...

Yet you did succeed in making me laugh out loud, though!!